snow

i found myself going downtown tonight to see a friend visiting from Brooklyn. the day's rain was turning into snow and holiday lights were everywhere. we ate and talked and talked and talked. she brought me NY bagels and human interaction. bliss.

on my way home, i seriously considered eating fresh snow from the top of a garbage can. i had almost decided not to when i bumped (almost physically) into Ethan, looking happy and healthy and heading towards Annie's. he'd been on my mind for weeks now, which had me suspecting i'd see him around somewhere. but i'd let my guard down, what with all the winter all around me. why do people always say "we should hang out"? and why do i always say "of course"? he still makes me sad, even w/ all this time between us. and now i will hang out and be even sadder, after months and months of happy. frustration.